What the???

Well I found the answer to my spotting! My body was prepping for a period. And this morning it started. Oh did I mention it started 23 days after my last period?!?

On clomid my cycle was 30 days long and before that it happened when it happened- there was never a pattern. Sometimes it was two Weeks long, other times it was 34+.

So I guess the residual clomid is not enough for me and I’m already back to no pattern. I was feeling better late last week, but now I’m totally depressed. I really don’t want to go to work, but I hate calling in sick on Mondays. It just seems so fake. Ugh. Guess I’ll go in and then go home sick like Hubster suggested. I do have a headache and cramps, which is sick enough for me!

Hubster did point out that my diet change and acupuncture might regulate my cycle so I’m a little bit hopeful. And we have or first appt with the RE in 3 weeks. So that makes me a little more hopeful. But I’m still feeling more defeated than anything.

I knew it wasn’t going to happen this month. I had a feeling my body wasn’t going to cooperate, and yet, I’m devastated. I guess I won’t every really get used to the disappointment I feel when AF shows up, no matter how prepared I think I am.

Oh and poor Hubster saw “baby this” and “baby that” on fb right after I told him we were out and was pretty sad. So he’s not getting used to the disappointment either. But he is still my rock who holds me while I cry.

Thanks for listening to me whine.

6 thoughts on “What the???

  1. I’m so sorry hun. 😦 I’ve never had a.miscarriage and its not really fair to compare… but that’s sometimes how I used to feel about an unsuccessful cycle. It felt like I’d lost that potential baby every time and it was, just as you said, devastating. Do something nice for yourself today and take it easy. Maybe when you leave work go get a massage or something! Thinking of you…

    • Thanks. I went home early from work and took a long bath and napped. I also got my grocery shopping list together and worked on the paperwork for my upcoming appt with the RE. Lots of feel-good me-time and productivity (which also helps clear my mind) today. I’m still saddened and bummed, but I’m getting back to that “hopeful” place I like to be. 🙂

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