DAY 23: Put your iPod on shuffle. List the first 10 songs that play.
1. House of Balloons – The Weeknd
2. Club Paradise – Drake
3. Ode to LRC – Band of Horses
4. I’ve Got Your Number – Passion Pit
5. Baby, Its Cold Outside – Lady Antebellum
6. Try – Frank Ocean
7. Coyotes – Jason Mraz
8. Constellations – Jack Johnson
9. Take Me As I Am – Sugarland
10. Last Christmas – Glee Cast
So. We met with our RE and he thinks I don’t actually have PCOS. Ugh!!!! But immediately I was relieved and thought, “screw this diet!” But I’ve been feeling better on it and I think I’ll mostly stick to it.
So off to have our blood drawn he sent us! He requested the routine tests to confirm I’m healthy and immunized (and don’t have STDs) , plus AMH & bioavailable testosterone levels. He said he would do a lap if I want one, but suggested we do a baseline U/S with my next cycle and then do a lap if he sees anything suspicious. I’m ok with that right now.
Then he said he might want to do the saline hydrosonogram, but that he didn’t think the HSG would be necessary. Thank God.
He also wants to proceed with Clomid+IUI next cycle. Considering it’s only 1-2k and my insurance will pay half, I was totally all for it! But Hubster wants me to go on Clomid and try again with the timed intercourse. Especially because the RE told us that we should just wait to have sexytime when I get my +OPK.
So I’ve compromised with Hubster and said okay to 2 months of Clomid+timed intercourse. If no BFP, then we’ll go ahead with a max of 2 cycles of Clomid+IUI. And if that doesn’t work he wants to move on to IVF. Sooo yeah. It’s all getting real now.
I’m really emotional right now and stalking my chart like crazy. I really just want THIS to be the cycle. I don’t want to have to do any other interventions. I feel hopeful about the future, and even though my chart still looks good, I’m pretty sure we didn’t get enough sexytime in.
But one thing Mr. RE reminded me is that our whole relationship can’t revolve around TTC. Our sexytime (once fun and passionate) has now become “babymaking time.” We are rarely intimate outside of that one week each month and that’s a far cry from where we started! Not to make anyone gag, but in the beginning it was at least 3x/day!!!!
So thinking about what our marriage has become and NIAW’s challenge to not ignore infertility, I am inspired NOT TO IGNORE MY RELATIONSHIPS. Since I am spreading IF awareness across my FB-world and I am so deeply entrenched in IF, I will find some way to make my marriage and my life about more than TTC.
As far as Hubster and I go, maybe I will issue a house rule of no talking about anything related to babymaking and no blogging 1 day/week, plan a couple of short trips where there is no TTC talk, date night monthly, etc.
As far as friends go, there are a handful that I miss terribly. I will make an effort to escape my IF-cacoon and meet up with a friend at least twice/month. They all love me and want me to have children so much and just because none of them have struggled with IF, they are still there for me and praying for me. I love their babies and have missed watching them grow these last several months so I know it will feel good to be back in their lives and have them in mine.
So what will you challenge yourself not to ignore?!?