DAY 24: Does your religion (or lack of) help/hurt/affect your infertility journey? Have you found religion? Lost it? Does it affect what treatments you do?
Whew. This is tough. Ok so I believe in God. I got lost there for awhile and then came back and then doubted again when this IF stuff started getting real. But now I’m back. Although I wouldn’t necessarily call it “religion,” since I can’t really subscribe to any one religion.
So I have faith in God, His sovereignty and His love. I know He’s the one who gave me the perfect partner to take this journey with and when I feel like I can’t take anymore He’s there to comfort me. Because I know that His plan is perfect Hubster and I can get through this difficult time together.
This experience has renewed my faith and definitely helps my journey. Although sometimes it makes this journey more confusing. But my faith helps.
No, it doesn’t affect the treatments I do because I have seen His blessings delivered through IVF. I just pray I never get to that point (unless of course I win the lottery!).
I think my newfound faith is what is getting me through the end of this 2ww. So you know how I’ve mentioned that I get a lot of “pregnancy symptoms” from the progesterone my body produces? Well not only does that happen every month, but they are always different. EVERY MONTH, MY 2WW SYMPTOMS CHANGE! This month is no exception and even though I’m frustrated, I’m also pretty zen about it. What else can I be? And by my calculations, AF should arrive sometime between tomorrow and Sunday. Last month my cycle only ended up being 24 days so if that’s the case this month, AF should get here tomorrow. But if I ovulated on CD 11 and my LP is 14 days long, AF should arrive Friday. On Clomid my LP was 15-16 days long so it could be even later. Crap. I really hope not. But I’m used to my body tricking me just when I have it figured out and I haven’t spotted yet. Which has happened to me 2-3 days before my period starts for the last 7 months.
So yeah. I’m zen. Goodnight!