As NIAW draws to a close (and as a way to distract myself from the heartbreak I am experiencing), I would like to take this time to remind myself and all of you wonderful bloggers not to ignore your relationships.
Hubster and I had a consult with our first Reproductive Endocrinologist this week. It was a scary, anxiety-ridden time leading up to the appointment and I don’t really know why. I guess because I was afraid the doctor was going to tell us we would never have children. I know, it sounds completely dramatic. But those are the thoughts that run through your head when you’re told 8 years earlier that you need to start trying for babies within a couple of years. Or when 2 years after that you no longer have a period and you are told your body doesn’t ovulate on its own. And then you don’t get pregnant even when your husband has great swimmers and medicine makes your body ovulate. I’m not talking about just shooting one egg out, but TWO. And you have sexytime the correct days you’re supposed to. Even though everything went perfectly and I actually ovulated (which is the ONLY problem I apparently have), we still had to see a RE to help make a baby.
And that’s all I can think about. Everything else seems so trivial and totally unimportant because Hubster and I were born to be parents and we still aren’t. We are amazing partners to each other and long to add to our small family (have I mentioned our 3 fur-babies?!?). Meaningless chit chat and concern from others actually drive me up the wall now. The bubbly social-butterfly I once was is now buried deep inside. I used to love chatting with everyone about anything and now I can only stand to be around my husband. Especially if we’re talking about trying to make babies.
But one thing Mr. RE reminded me is that our whole relationship can’t revolve around trying to conceive. Our sexytime (once fun and passionate) has now become “babymaking time.” We are rarely intimate outside of that one week each month and that’s a far cry from where we started! Not to make anyone gag, but in the beginning it was at least 3x/day!!!!
So thinking about what our marriage has become and NIAW’s challenge to not ignore infertility, I am inspired NOT TO IGNORE MY RELATIONSHIPS. Since I am spreading infertility awareness across my Facebook-world and I am so deeply entrenched in IF, I will find some way to make my marriage and my life about more than TTC.
As far as Hubster and I go, I will ask him what he needs to make it through the tough times ahead because this isn’t just hard on me, issue a house rule of no talking about anything related to babymaking and no IF-blogging at least 1 day each week, plan a couple of short trips in which TTC talk is banned, date night monthly, etc.
As far as friends go, there are a handful of Fertiles that I miss terribly. I will make an effort to escape my IF-cacoon and meet up with a friend at least twice/month. They all love me and want me to have children so much and just because none of them have struggled with IF, they are still there for me and praying for me. I love their babies and have missed watching them grow these last several months so I know it will feel good to be back in their lives and have them in mine.
So what will you challenge yourself not to ignore?!?
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW