Now that I’ve gotten you good and freaked out, let me just begin by saying that everything is GREAT! Better than I could have hoped. So perfect that I’m back to feeling like THIS is our “month.”
Here’s the story:
On Cinco de Mayo I asked Hubster if he was coming to my U/S because I just realized he hasn’t said anything about getting off work an hour early that day. And I hadn’t heard about it from anyone else (we work for the same state agency, in the same division, but different units! WE LOVE THIS for many reasons and hate it for one. But I’ll explain later.) either. His response was, “Oh, did you want me to?” Smh. To his credit, he has NEVER been to a CD12 U/S with me and I’ve never asked him to. The entire four months I took Clomid previously, my OB/Gyn’s office had their machine break and never got the the correct replacement. This meant going to an Imagin Ctr under the guise of “pelvic pain” so my scan would be covered by insurance. Since I never went for checking out my follies, i never had Hubster go. Fast forward to our discussion after our first RE appt when I told Hubster EXPLICITLY that he would now be expected at these scans.
Ok, so I found out he hadn’t even considered going when I brought the question of whether he was going with me or not and I told him that I would like him to come if he wanted to. Immature, I know. I should have just said, “YES DUMMY!” jkjk but I should have explained that it was important he be there. I was hurt that he didn’t WANT to be there. So we discussed taking time off work to go and then the convo just ended. Maybe we got to the Mexican restaurant we were headed to, I don’t remember.
Anyway, yesterday morning I’m freaking out because we’re running late to work and he tells me to go on ahead since we’re taking two cars. WHAAAT?!? So I was all upset and when he confirmed that he wasn’t going to the U/S I flew out of the house in a rage. No goodbye, nothing. Throughout the morning I had to go to his floor and discuss things with his immediate coworkers and he would talk to me as if nothing were wrong. I calmly told him I was still mad at him and I wasn’t talking to him. Smh again. Yes, I’m pathetically immature on Clomid. (Yes, I totally blame Clomid for my faults whenever I am taking it!) He thought it was funny and kept ignoring my anger and finally I told him that I wanted him to WANT to go and that I’m really insecure about this whole process. Since I’m the Infertile here, I take the responsibility. I know it’s both of us in it together and when he doesn’t act like it is in fact, BOTH of us in it together, I feel like my Infertility Island has lost it’s tether. He understood and thank God he went to the appointment!
Once Dr. RE exclaimed my lining is textbook perfect, I felt relieved. He then explaimed that my leading follicle is the perfect size. Then he exclaimed that my other ovary had two follicles chasing the largest one. The right ovary had a 21mm and the left had a 15.5mm and 15mm. THEN he exclaims that going in that day worked out perfectly because if I had triggered a day later we’d be having twins! Ummm wait…what? I laughed and smiled but thought what the H?!? (Yes, I took Clomid for four months previously, but it was prescribed by an OB/Gyn. So no HCG ever!!!) The he and his assistant immediately asked, “You have the HCG, right?” I shook my head and told them no. So the assistant asked if I had been contacted by the pharmacy and I said I received a strange voicemail, but since I was at work I didn’t research it. Apparently they had phoned the order to a Rx-by-mail pharmacy. Then she explained it’s not a medication carried by many pharmacies around here and they were going to have to hurry and find it for me. So we sat in the waiting room until they found it and a nurse brought us back for a quick injections lesson.
We finally left 1.5 hrs after my appointment time and had to drive across town in the middle of rush hour traffic to get my meds/needles/sharps container. I left the clinic feeling completely overwhelmed and pissed that this miscommunication happened. But I was also grateful to you ladies because I actually had some idea of what/why/how of HCG! Phew.
Anyway, the stress, exhaustion and pressure got to Hubster last night so the BDing didn’t really go anywhere. I was so sad for him. But I am happy to report that we successfully DTD this morning (just took out the Soft Cup a few mins ago) and will try again tonight.
The actual poking of the needle wasn’t as bad as I feared, but would not have happened if I had to do it myself. Hubster did a great job and it’s an experience we will never forget. And now I’m excited to know that I will be ovulating this first month back on Clomid and WHEN! Whoa that is such a relief. It sucks that we’ll be driving 8 hours down to Southern California when my eggs pop tomorrow, but we’ll work BDing in somehow and I’ll have plenty of time to sleep off the O pains.
In other news, I have two coworkers struggling with IF and one announced his wife is 12 weeks pregnant!!!!!! I cried when he came to my cube to tell me. He is such a great man and will be an amazing father and after 2 years of “unexplained infertility,” they finally got pregnant. NATURALLY. He was so happy to share his news, but he was sensitive enough to tell me that his cube is always open and he hopes that I will continue to share my journey with him. I assured him that I will be venting/crying to him at least once a month until I get my BFP also. 😉
I’m exhausted from the past 24hours, but really happy. Have a great weekend everyone and this seems to be the time for Infertiles so take hope and I’m crssing my fingers for all of us! I’m also wishing every Prego a very healthy and happy nine months!!!!!!