Pity Party

Last night we went to a friend’s graduation party and it was so much fun to get out and be around people. And then my friend who has a kid and her hubby showed up. It was fine until her hubby started talking about how tired he is and how much work kids are. I thought, ” No shit!!!!  I would gladly be tired from a kid, rather than the stupid hormones running through my body!” Then he said, “But I’m not complaining.” And I was relived.  Until he started talking about what a joy it is to have kids and he definitely did something right with his son. That was nice but I got soooo irritated. No, people shouldn’t NOT talk about their kids when I’m there, but shit I really didn’t need to hear it last night. I htought I had escaped the baby-gushing when I blocked that friend’s FB page but her hubby gushed as much as she does. And I feel like such a B. It’s great they love their kid so much and are so happy being parents, but omigod I don’t want to think about my infertility right now. 

I’m having a hard enough time making it through the 2nd of my 2ww already. I keep feeling like I really could be pregnant, then I quickly dismiss that and fervently pray and wish that I am pregnant. But then today brought my  PMS-feeling-woe-is-me-and-my husband-doesn’t-appreciate-me, PMS-moodiness and PMS-compulsion-to-furiously-clean-the-house. So while I’m really hoping I’m pregnant, I’m trying to remain realistic. Oh and it doesn’t help that poor Hubster woke up super sad because he dreamed that I got my period. He quickly realized it was just a dream and was very relieved.  But in 4-6 days (my LP is 14-16 days long, I never know which it’s going to be) he may be facing that sadness and disappointment for real. 

I’m feeling poopy right now and spending all of the little energy I have on fighting back tears. Guess it was time for a pity-party. 😦

26 thoughts on “Pity Party

  1. Let me guess, I know this couple?

    I’m sorry hun, the end of the 2ww is the hardest part. Distraction time!!! Cookies and movies stat! I wish we lived closer…

    • Yes you do and I almost started crying when I read the last sentence. Me too!! Sooo much!!! I might be gong out your way the weekend after the 4th of July!

  2. When you struggle with infertility you’re allowed unlimited pity parties. It’s written somewhere. I’ve seen it. =-) Surround yourself with good people, avoid the gushers, and get ready for a BFP!

  3. The crappy thing about infertility is that it’s almost impossible to ignore. It’s thrown into your face constantly, and some days are harder than others to deal. Go easy on yourself.

    • Thanks Theresa! And you’re right. Some days I only think about it a couple of times and other days I can’t stop thinking about it. Today is the former, thank God.

  4. Thinking of you on your 2WW… hoping your feeling is not PMS related but due to preg hormones 🙂 xoxo

  5. Hey at least you didnt disolve into tears at someones wedding cause you couldn’t get away from the pity party in your head.
    So nice to know I’m not the only person who pity parties.

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