Last night we went to a friend’s graduation party and it was so much fun to get out and be around people. And then my friend who has a kid and her hubby showed up. It was fine until her hubby started talking about how tired he is and how much work kids are. I thought, ” No shit!!!! I would gladly be tired from a kid, rather than the stupid hormones running through my body!” Then he said, “But I’m not complaining.” And I was relived. Until he started talking about what a joy it is to have kids and he definitely did something right with his son. That was nice but I got soooo irritated. No, people shouldn’t NOT talk about their kids when I’m there, but shit I really didn’t need to hear it last night. I htought I had escaped the baby-gushing when I blocked that friend’s FB page but her hubby gushed as much as she does. And I feel like such a B. It’s great they love their kid so much and are so happy being parents, but omigod I don’t want to think about my infertility right now.
I’m having a hard enough time making it through the 2nd of my 2ww already. I keep feeling like I really could be pregnant, then I quickly dismiss that and fervently pray and wish that I am pregnant. But then today brought my PMS-feeling-woe-is-me-and-my husband-doesn’t-appreciate-me, PMS-moodiness and PMS-compulsion-to-furiously-clean-the-house. So while I’m really hoping I’m pregnant, I’m trying to remain realistic. Oh and it doesn’t help that poor Hubster woke up super sad because he dreamed that I got my period. He quickly realized it was just a dream and was very relieved. But in 4-6 days (my LP is 14-16 days long, I never know which it’s going to be) he may be facing that sadness and disappointment for real.
I’m feeling poopy right now and spending all of the little energy I have on fighting back tears. Guess it was time for a pity-party. 😦