That’s my number.
We’re sad and I have some feelings to work through, but they aren’t all bad. SHOCKER! Get ready for a dump…
I am so unbelievably sad. I feel such a sense of loss even though it wasn’t really much to begin with. But it was something. Remember how I was losing hope and about ready to give up? Well now I’m inspired and optimistic. I am grateful for at least this. I know it sounds disgusting and morbid, but i hoped that one day I, too, would at least have a chemical pregnancy. Because even though it’s heartbreaking to be so very close, yet so effing far away, we really did get close this time. And while I’m confessing, I’ll tell you that I’m honestly considering keeping all of my pee sticks with all of my old pill containers, injections bottles and syringes. No I don’t plan on keeping them forever, but I think I want to take pictures of all those items together to illustrate the journey. But I’m just thinking out loud…
Now Hubster and I are gearing up for AF and another cycle. We’ll eat healthy (yummy) meals, I’ll get my drink on at Nacho Nite on Friday, I have ice cream in the fridge and we’ll work on the calendar. But we’ll also be more disciplined about vitamins and getting enough sleep, I won’t skip a week (or more) of acupuncture anymore, I’ll drink my 8 glasses of water each day and I’ll be more committed to getting my body baby-ready, or working on a B.R.B., as Belle calls it. 😉 Oh and I’m distracting myself with an AMAZING new trilogy. I just finished Delirium and can’t wait to start Pandemonium. Think Hunger Games, but even better. In the meantime, however, I’m reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. EXCELLENT so far!
So that’s that and now I just want to dig into some ice cream.
Thanks for ALL of your wonderful support. I don’t think I would be this “okay” if it weren’t for you all!!!! xoxo
Now I have a very important question for you:
To IUI or not to IUI next month?
Hubster and I agreed to try two months of clomid+timed-intercourse+soft cups and then move on to IUI. Now with the unexpected outcome for this, do we change our original gameplan? I feel like another round of C+TI+SC for a total cost of $94 makes sense vs the cost of IUI. But I also want to stick to the plan and give it all we’ve got next month. Any suggestions???
And Hubster (since I know you’ll be reading this shortly), sorry for the false hope of a baby this month. I have learned my lesson and no getting excited til my beta reads at least 50!!! I have learned a very valuable lesson. 😉