These two things are all I think about lately. I had a reeeeally tough time at work this week. It was hard for me to concentrate on writing clear, sympathetic responses to our members’ inquiries and heaven forbid I have to talk to them on the phone. My brain has been this thick mud all week so talking to them was even worse! And I feel so alone in my sadness. Hubster is mostly “over it” now and I don’t know anyone else who has experienced pregnancy loss IRL except one friend who had a blighted ovum. She wasn’t trying and was ultimately relieved, but she did grieve her loss for awhile. It’s just hard because she’s one of those people that prefers to grieve in private. And even though she was worried about me and talked to me for an hour on the phone, I feel like that connection is over. That I’m on my own again.
One thing, besides Magic Mike, that helps though is working out! Jenn’s challenge and my motivation to get my body ready for a sticky pregnancy has me working out already! I did Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred on Thursday night and am only just a little sore today. So today I’ll shred again and go for a run/walk. I’m going to try and run two miles since I haven’t run since before ovulation last month (since acupuncture has helped my body respond SO well to Clomid, my RE said he wants me to protect my giant post-ovulation ovaries and I’m not allowed to run until they go back to normal size) and then I’ll walk until I’ve gone a total of 35 mins. I figure that’s one intense hour-long workout. 🙂
After that, we have a triple date to the movies this afternoon and a 1st bday party this evening. I’m looking forward to seeing my friend at the party who is struggling with unexplained (so far) infertility. She and her hubby have been actively trying for 10 months, but because they planned to start 3 months earlier and her doctor knew that, she was already referred to an infertility specialist and they will start the tests this month. Her cycle is very regular and she ovulates on her own at the same time every month (confirmed by OPKs, CM & temping) so she’ll probably do the HSG and blood tests. Her hubby will be doing his SA soon and hopefully they’ll have some answers.
Since she is a friend, but not a super close one (the wife of one of Hubster’s good friends) I’m debating about letting her in on my little world in Blogosphere. I haven’t yet decided. Not only is this a personal space for me, but I talk about people IRL that would be hurt and offended at some of my posts so I have to keep it top secret. I already let two friends in on it, but I’m having trouble deciding on this one. I know she could use the support because she’s really scared and frustrated and I’m pretty sure I can trust her, it’s just scary.
But now it’s time to sweat and get this day started! I’ll get commenting on everyone’s blogs tomorrow – I promise. 🙂