My sister

I have mentioned her in the past and now I’d like to share my story.

My sister is only 16 months younger than me. We were dressed alike often as small children and taught to love each other, but as much as I do love her, I also can’t stand her a lot of the time. It sounds really harsh, but she is one of those people who expects to be taken care of and catered to. Yes, I have enabled her and fed into that expectation her whole life until the last two years, but it still makes me mad that she is still that way.

And my family doesn’t help matters. While I had to take out student loans to pay my way through school, my parents paid for her schooling and rent. In SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA! A one-bedroom cost $1200 and because she got knocked up accidentally while in college, my parents paid that rent for her and I didn’t get anything because they knew I could take care of myself.

I also made the 7-hr one way driving trip down there to help her with my nephew at least every 6 weeks. Sometimes every 3 when my schedule and funds permitted it. She slept while I took care of him two or three times during the night and sometimes I couldn’t even sleep in a bed because he would only sleep if i held him upright. I have bought her parenting books, spoiled my nephew rotten because she’s been a single parent almost his entire 5  years of life and taken time off of work to take care of him when his day care closed for summer and holiday breaks.

Now she’s engaged to a loser and while I have helped her with her wedding SO much already she is mad that I didn’t want to take a day trip out of town to shop for bridesmaid dresses. We are having a seamstress make our dresses and I already picked mine out so what do we need to send a whole day out of town shopping for? Anyway, because I didn’t want to do that she threatened to have someone else be MOH and ignored my text about my CP. Can you say harsh?

So I just wrote her an email laying it all out there and hopefully she can be honest with herself and we can start over. Not only does she expect everything in life to be handed to her, but she can’t believe she does anything wrong. I don’t have high hopes, but I’m hoping this can be the start of a different relationship. Our family is uber close and in our culture, family is everything. But I refuse to continue on the way we have.

So cross your fingers please. I hope this works. If not, I feel good about telling her exactly how I feel and getting everything out in the open. Now I can go on my run and get my house in order for the week ahead. Thanks for being there for me through the tough times. It really helps to know all of you are there when my own family sometimes isn’t. 🙂

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8 thoughts on “My sister

  1. I know how difficult sisters can be! Though my situation is very, very different, my sis also expects to be catered to and for ME (the mom of a toddler who needs regular naps!) to work around HER schedule. She can’t be relied on for anything. So I know how you can love them and yet they can make you crazy. Good for you for standing up for yourself and setting boundaries. I hope she’s willing to make the necessary adjustments so the two of you can have a healthy, happy new relationship!

  2. It’s tough being the older sister, especially when you and your sister are not treated equally. I can relate to your frustrations. I think setting boundaries (just as you did) is the only way to save your sanity. Will this result in you being painted as the bad guy, probably. But, I actually believe that in the end, she’ll respect you more for it. Wishing you all the best as you move forward.

    ICLW#6

  3. Uggh that sounds terrible! But I can tell through your words and your actions that you care deeply about her, so sending that email was the right thing to do, in my opinion. Sometimes it helps to clear the air. I hope she responds well to it and that you guys can begin to repair your relationship. Keep me posted. xoxo

  4. I’m sorry hun, how frustrating!!! You did all you could by being open and honest with her… the ball is in her court now whether she wants to be mature or not. I hope she chooses to see things from a new perspective… and if not thank goodness you can choose your friends 🙂

  5. Ah the joys of a little sister! I know exactly what your going through and my sister was also a nightmare when it came to her wedding. Good for you for laying it all out for her, sometimes they need to be told and they need to grow up and realise that your not there just to make her life easier.

  6. Pingback: My baseline did not go well. | Dog Mom Chasing the Stork

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