I just hit a wall.

I’m freaking out.

I’m stressing about trying not to freak out.

I’m getting almost no work done at work today.

I’m trying to only share a tiny bit about the symptoms I’m experiencing so adorable Hubster doesn’t get his hopes way up and then experience my anxiety.

I’m fighting the temptation not to test tomorrow.

At 6DPO, I am experiencing some more “symptoms” I had last month at this time.  I haven’t been symptom-spotting for 3 or 4 months because I have been really good about not focusing on them (and driving myself crazy) since I stopped tracking.  But I do remember some of the odd symptoms of last month.

Here they are:

  • Incredibly painful nipple sensitivity on my left side only (since my breast reduction 10 yrs ago that nipple is more sensitive than the right usually)
  • Weird twinge/pulsing/electric shock-type feelings on my labia, of all places!
  • Cramps for a few hours and then they disappear (last month they came back stronger right around the time I tested so I really thought it was just AF)
  • CRAZY BREAKOUTS!
  • Always in the mood, but too afraid to actually have SexyTime. SO frustrating.

All of those are happening now.  Which is the same DPO they started last month.  But I know that doesn’t mean anything and I’ve been pretty sure I couldn’t get pregnant this cycle so I’m trying to keep myself psyched out. Also, I am flippin TERRIFIED of getting a BFP and know I will be super crazy about testing 2 or 3x/day to make sure the theoretical second line is getting darker, not lighter.

I was doing really well and feeling really good.  But this morning, I have hit a wall.

😦

Such is the IF/PL rollercoaster, I guess…

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20 thoughts on “I just hit a wall.

  1. Oh man, I’m sorry the hormones have kicked in already at 6DPO… wrecking havoc on your emotional stability :-/ It’s so hard to know what any of the early symptoms mean and I’m so frustrated for you. You gotta stay strong, maybe try to hold out until Friday (10DPO)? Is that just too long? I think it’s distraction time like BIG time. New book or new show that you can obsess over? I just started watching Hart of Dixie(CW) last night and I think I’m hooked.

    Don’t feel bad about work, I’m pretty sure my productivity at work has gone down like 90% over the past year and a half since we started trying. I just hope that someday it picks back up…. or I like to think I was just an over achiever before all this and that this is the more normal way that people work. 😉

    Love you!!

    • Ok well how about Thursday lol!! I got my BFP at 11 with a frer, but the Dollar Tree HPTs were more sensitive… 😉 😉 I already watched Hart of Dixie (season finale is CRAY-CRAY)…but I haven’t seen this season of Burn Notice or Dexter yet, I have some True Blood to catch up on and I do want to see Sons of Anarchy. Phew! Thanks! I think I’ll be able to distract myself some now. And feel less guilty about work. 😉

  2. I agree that should hold out until 10DPO if you can….I know it will be so hard, but better than getting a false negative. I hope somehow you get another miracle this month. And I wouldn’t worry about work…most people slack of there anyway. My fingers are crossed that you can climb over this wall and make it for a few more days!

    • haha thanks so much for the reassurance and crossed fingers!! i’m pretty sure i’ve had all of the good news i’m alloted recently so i’m not getting my hopes up. and i will try to hold off until friday…but i’m not promising anything. 😉 I will definitely not do it tomorrow. and i’ll try reeeeeal hard not to test on wednesday!

  3. Sending you every positive vibe and all the positive energy that I have…. I figure it’s better to pass it along to others than horde it for myself. Besides, I believe that you get what you give… so, you know. Anyways, good luck. I was supposed to wait to test this coming weekend, but I POAS 3 times over the last 5 days – all BFN, but it was way too early to test and I should have known better.

  4. Breathe. You are freaking out because you care, because you want to get pregnant, and because you’re stressed from last month. All totally normal. Hold off on testing. Throw yourself into Burn Notice! This season is amazing. What with Fee in jail and Michael doing his best to get her out. Awesome. Perfect distraction. Honestly. Fingers and toes and eyes crossed for you. And thanks for being so honest. I love it.

    • haha thanks. oh i’m so excited to watch this season now! i can’t believe she’s actually still in jail! i thought she would have figured a way out already! thanks again!

  5. Deep breaths and I highly recommend the new season of Tru Blood!!! Oh so much happening there at the moment,Im dying (har har) to see the next episode!
    I should have bought shares in the company that makes pregnancy tests, I would have made myself a millionare by now.I buy the 2 for one packs! Try hold out as long as you can though…you will never NOT know is what I tell myself.:)

  6. Hold out testing if you can! I always find it is easier to get AF then a BFN but maybe that is just me. Then if you DO get one it is an awesome surprise! I actually thought we had no chance at all both months I got pregnant due to poor timing. So you never know! I hope this one is it for you!

  7. Such a nightmare of a rollercoaster… so so hopeful for you and keeping my FXd for you 🙂 We’re all here for you and know the feeling of freaking out… be gentle on yourself xoxo

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