It’s true…the greater the risk, the greater the reward.

Remember how I came out on Facebook? Well occasionally I post links to articles on RESOLVE’s website and pin infertility/miscarriage related things that I know will show on FB. I even go so far as to comment on many of RESOLVE’s questions the post.

But last night I did something crazy.

I posted about how painful Christmas is this year.


Yep I posted that. It took me several minutes to finally perfect it and then it took several more minutes for me to actually post it. I was scared you guys. What if people thought I was a selfish Scrooge out to ruin the holidays for them? What if they told me to count my blessings and to remember “the reason for the season” instead of focusing on what I don’t have?

But that didn’t happen. 16 people commented with sincere hope we will have babies one day and sadness for the pain I’m going through. It was amazing.

Cycle Update:
My baseline on Monday (CD4) went well even though I had a new small cyst in my left ovary. I only had 5 small follies on my right ovary and none on the left. That’s almost half as much as usual but it went well enough to get me Clomid! I am doing CDs 4-8 and have my next u/s on CD11 (which is usually trigger day). I’m taking my Pregnitude, prenatals and DHEA so hopefully I get some good follicle growth.

The side effects haven’t hit yet, but last night in the shower I got really low cramps and tingles in my labia. Anyone every experience that this early in their cycle?

8 thoughts on “It’s true…the greater the risk, the greater the reward.

  1. That takes balls, lady! And your balls are clearly bigger than mine–I’m still on the Facebook infertility closet. But I totally get what you are saying. In fact, I’m boycotting Christmas entirely this year. No tree, no decoration, no carols, and no presents. Bah Humbug!

  2. You go girl! I think that is a wonderful and beautifully written post. I am so glad it has brought you understanding and support. I wish I had the guts to come out but I am not quite there yet.

  3. Oh man, you are a brave, brave lady. One of these days maybe I’ll do something like that but for now I fear it would come out “quit complaining about Christmas shopping and hug your effing kids, asshats”.

  4. I’ve been thinking of stepping out of the Facebook infertility closet – so proud of you for doing it! What do you think about the Pregnitude? I have been hearing more and more about it but have not yet tried it.

  5. wow…I applaud you for doing so!!! I know our friends feel the same, but it’s still so nice to hear it and be acknowledged. I’m sorry Christmas this year is not what you want it to be. I’m hoping you get proven wrong before the holiday gets here:))

  6. Good for you! It’s so hard to go “public” with something so personal. I’ve only posted about it vaguely, and then this year finally posted on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day. Somehow that was easier to write about than the actual TTC struggles…

    Hoping this cycle goes well for you and you get to trigger on Monday!

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