Merry Christmas Loves

I’m so sorry for the ones still stuck in trenches with me and excited for the ones who have gotten out! Just know my love is with each and every one of you.

As for us, Christmas has been surprisingly easy. Until this afternoon. Hubster and I had sexytime (Eeeek!!!!!) even though it’s not our fertile time. Merry Christmas to us! And then we took a long-awaited nap. Yesssss!

But that’s where our trouble started. Both of us had “adoption-premonition” dreams. Yikes! They were real and they were vivid. Hubster was really upset by his so I didn’t share mine. Suffice to say, we have both lost hope. Shit.

Remember my excitement to adopt? It’s gone. Well, mostly. I still just want to be a mom, but the reality of it is hitting and I think we’ll need professional help to grieve the loss of “our own” children.

And my parents were sweet. They gave each of our 3 monsters furbabies a toy for Christmas. It made us a little sad because we know they did it since we don’t have actual children for them to buy for. But ultimately it was so damn sweet that we are thrilled.

I’m grateful we’re having a great Christmas overall, but it suuuuucks that we’re so sad. RESOLVE encourages us Infertiles to do something to take care of ourselves during the holiday season and I think I’ll be doing just that.

Here are some links to articles that might help you also.

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9 thoughts on “Merry Christmas Loves

  1. Wishing you a Merry Christmas. I know what it is like to have to grieve the loss of your own children before being able to move on to adoption. In time you will know what is right for you and your family. Do something lovely for yourself and think positive thoughts for the upcoming year!

  2. I had those dreams after our miscarriage in June. When had been talking about adoption but then the dreams started and I didn’t want anything to do with it. It wasn’t until a week before we decided to do foster-adopt that I really felt like it was the right thing to do. Give yourself time, sweetie! You’ll know what’s best for you two when the time comes!

  3. Merry Christmas Friend!! I’m sorry that the adoption thing has lost some of it’s excitement. I’m hoping it will come back just as quickly as it left. However, I totally agree that grieving the loss of biological children is a very important step in the adoption process. You are so strong and I know you can do this!! xoxo

    • Thanks. It’s hard to imagine actually getting through grieving the loss of bio kids, but you’re right. I am strong and we will be thrilled and grateful for however we end building our family.

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