Why can’t my body ever cooperate?!?

I really don’t ask for much. I just want to be able to run. And make a baby. That’s all!

I recently had knee problems and worked really hard at strengthening and stretching my hip to help that. It worked and my knee stopped hurting. And then I started getting terrible pelvic pain (ovarian cysts?) and still couldn’t run. The pain decreased but then I started a dreadful period and have barely had the energy to make it through a full day at work so I haven’t run this week. And I was getting depressed.Β 

Now I learn that my lining was 18mm on cd12! Ugh. So there was no way I was getting pregnant this month or probably even the last few months given my crazy heavy flows. So apparently I needed the lining-killing Clomid! Yep, I’m now fully depressed.

I haven’t been back to my fertility clinic because I hate it but obviously the monitoring would have been helpful to me. I am so frustrated, discouraged and feeling like an idiot to think I could do it on my own. I thought the Inositol (which helps regulate estrogen production) was helping me ovulate and we would be able to conceive without my clinic’s help. My Gyn also agreed to give me Clomid when I feel ready for that so I don’t have to go back to them (everything with my clinic, except IVF of course, is covered by insurance at 50% and nothing would be covered at a different clinic) so I was feeling really hopeful. Now, not so much.

It’s so crappy that we can’t afford good, thorough infertility care and I’m feeling frustrated and discouraged because we won’t be able to afford much else in the near future. Oh that and the fact that the women in my family go through menopause in their late 40s. Yeah. I’m fucked.

I have an email into my doctor so we shall see…

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8 thoughts on “Why can’t my body ever cooperate?!?

  1. Sorry to hear of your troubles. We were about to go through IVF this month after several attempts with IUI and found out after taking the birth control pills and testosterone patches that my eggs were no longer viable. My FSH level chose that very month to double so we have decided to end this chapter at this time after 2years of infertility struggles. I just started running again after a little break and it’s tough. I know where you are coming from and I am so sorry for your struggles with running and infertility! I had hip surgery and periodic back problems so I am right there with you! Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get there eventually. Thinking of you…

    • Oh no. I’m so sorry for your rough road through infertility. Hopefully you’ll be able to heal some through running. What is your prognosis after hip surgery?!? Thanks for your understanding. I felt so whiny lol

      • I had 2 ligament tears and a few bone calcifications. I was told if I wasn’t a runner before surgery, I wouldn’t be one after surgery so that made me want to try it, of course. Haha I am running well with no hip issues! πŸ™‚ My plan is to run my first 5k by my 40th bday next year :)) Hey, we are all in this together as far as I am concerned. Anyone that understands the infertility struggles truly gets it and we are the only ones that really understand. Hang in there!

  2. Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I’ve had really good luck with Clomid, but I know some people despise it, and it does suck that infertility treatment is so rarely covered in the way that it should be. I’m wishing you peace and answers and a game plan you can be happy with very soon. xo

  3. I’m so sorry, friend. This all sucks so much. I hated how Clomid made me feel and act. I had a much better time with Femara. But there have been many, many success stories with Clomid and I’ve got everything crossed that you’re one of them!

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