The Secret

Have any of you read/watched this? It’s all about the Law of Attraction and using belief to attract what you want. Or don’t want. Well I just read the book and realized that’s what I had been doing since my last cycle. The positive affirmations and believing (to the point of feeling emotions about it) a BFP into reality was the same as this Law. With a tweak. I learned that I cannot worry about losing a pregnancy. I simply have to believe it will give me my take-home baby because thinking about a negative outcome can bring that instead.

So this cycle I have been believing again. I envision Jenny (from Stupid Stork and I with our giant bellies  gallivanting around LA next spring. And that brings tears of immense joy to my eyes. I imagine going to my next acupuncture appt next week and announcing that I am pregnant and my beta was 123! Yes, that’s a boring number but it’s the one that came to mind haha. And the vision of texting a super dark 2nd line to my loved ones always pops into my head.

So I finally let go and am fully believing God is giving me my baby this time. I agreed to sell my marathon bib. I’m not even walking it because even walking 13.1 miles is too much stain for me to even think about putting on my pregnant body. I’m only 9dpo today but I let go of my doubt.

I was also concerned about running and working out since every emby has problems implanting, but a sweet advice nurse assured me that there was nothing I was doing to cause the failure to stick. Since I haven’t had any medically-recognized pregnancies I won’t be doing any testing so I’m just going with the thought that my embies were not developing correctly and they were just flukes, not an indication of something truly wrong.

However, I will try to get a beta done when it seems like my HCG level could possibly be a 5 or higher. That way if I lose it I can actually have 1 pregnancy in the books so I can do RPL testing sooner rather than later. So I’ll start peeing on sticks tomorrow!

Also, I’m reading (with great JOY) about all of your babies and pregnancies. Just haven’t commented. I just got 2 more IRL announcements within 5 days of each other and have another IRL Prego. These are 3 of the women I am closest to so they’re sucking up most of my pregnancy joy at the moment.

Oh and if you somehow missed the news, Jenny could really use your positive thoughts, vibes, prayers, etc for this IVF cycle. The journey has been super cray so follow the link above and read the drama!

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