I’m back from (what felt like) the dead

The evil flu struck my husband. And the next day I fell victim to the cold from Hell. I’m not exaggerating either. I don’t know what’s happening where you live on this beautiful planet, but here in NorCal the swine flu is totally killing perfectly healthy people, bronchitis is everywhere and if you get a cold, you’re down for over a week. A WEEK!

January 28th, Hubster wasn’t feeling well so he stayed home from work. I went on an interview. It was HARD. One of the perks of working for the State is that hiring panels are generous enough to provide you with the interview questions just before you go in. The shortest amount of time I’ve been given to review them is 10 minutes and the longest is 20. This one? Zero. And they asked harder questions than any other interview I’ve ever been on. (This was my 6th during this job hunt.) And the writing exercise was difficult. I had 30 minutes to run reports on Access or Excel so I could answer as many of the 20 questions they had as I could. The reports used 2+ tables/sheets. I don’t run reports ever so I almost left before starting but I sucked it up and did what I could.

Then I went home and instantly became frustrated because Hubster was pouting about not feeling well and I wanted to pout about my interview. Not just because it was rough but because I’m still bitter I have to job-hunt because of new management when I actually really love the work that I do. So I sucked it up and took care of Hubster.

The next morning I woke to Hubster telling me he is really sick and he needs me to stay home with him. I instantly regretted my frustration from the previous night, called his boss and mine and settled in for a day of playing nurse. Intense chills came on so I took his temperature and it was 103°!!!! No wonder my poor man was looking so pathetic. It stayed between 102-103° for two days, even with Tylenol. It finally subsided and stayed between 99-101° for the next 4 days. And then came the worsening cough. Finally last Tuesday he went to the doctor and was diagnosed with bronchitis.

So while I’m trying to take care of him, the dogs and the house, I came down with a gnarly cold the very next day. Like I was completely down for the count. We pathetically slept, drank smoothies and ate pizza on the couch for 2 days. I foolishly don’t ask for help and this was the best I could do for the 5 of us while I was sick. On the 3rd day I finally had the energy to shower, wash dishes and make us actual (small) meals. The next day I was feeling really antsy because I hadn’t been out of the house and hadn’t exercise at all for almost 4 full days so I decided to walk to the grocery store at lunchtime.

It was super bowl Sunday so luckily the stores were pretty empty. I grabbed more meds at the drugstore and then hit the grocery store to buy POG (passion/orange/guava juice) for it’s 180% D.V. of Vitamin C. I knew I would need some extra since my immune system was down and I didn’t want to catch anything else. Ah. It was a really nice walk. It had rained lightly on and off that morning and since we are dealing with the worst drought I recorded history, I was blissful.

For another hour. Then I dropped like a fly again. Hubster and I are still working on shaking our illnesses and getting back to normal, but it’s been hard. I’ve been back to work all week and apparently my work performance has been unfairly judged below par (insecure manager+misinterpretations=vendetta) so I have to work twice as hard which means by the time I get home I am utterly drained.

Now my house is a mess and I’m 1 day away from the end of my cycle. Like the way I phrased that? Even though I’m beyond stressed and exhausted, my positive thinking has magically resurfaced again. But I’m still grumpy. And frustrated. And unhappy in general.

I went to a dear friend’s baby shower last weekend and am throwing one next weekend. I love them to death and thoroughly enjoyed celebrating. But the nagging bitterness and “when is it going to be our turn?!?” have resurfaced. Now I’m back to looking at adoption. I think I’m at the point of being willing to look at domestic versus County Foster-adopt. I just really want to be a mom. I want our turn!

Thank God we’re going to the ocean I a couple of days. 3 days on the central coast is exactly what I need right now.

5 thoughts on “I’m back from (what felt like) the dead

  1. I’m sorry y’all were sick. It’s nasty out there right now. Blech. I wanted to comment to let you know I think of you often. I’m sitting in acupuncture now, which always makes me think of you.
    I don’t know how you do the baby showers. I’m not there yet… Skipped two this month already. I am truly happy for those families… And send gifts and express my joy for them… But I can’t sit through it. You are such a positive light and a great role model for folks TTC or dealing with these issues. Hugs and all that mushy.

    • Eeeeeeeeeeeek! Hey friend! I think of you too- SO often. I hope all is well. And I think you have the right idea about skipping them. I probably should but I’m usually totally OK until right before the day. Sigh. Thanks for the love and have a good needle sesh.

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