Well this sucks…

I achieved something I was working for and I realized I made a huge mistake.

I wanted to stop hoping and I did. I now no longer believe this cycle is going to work. I, again, never got my OPK smiley. We had lots of sex, but I’m sure that, again, this cycle will fail. I console myself with thoughts of adopting, but this yucky pessimism sucks.

So I’m trying to enjoy the rest of my life. I’m focusing on the positives of my job and how perfect it is, the fun life Hubster and I lead and how loving my doggies are. And they are all reeeeally great blessings. But deep down I’m sad.

So never again! Next month I will do my affirmations. I will envision the sperm meeting with the egg and the resulting embryo burrowing into my womb. Even if the cycle doesn’t work, it feels so much better during the process. Hoping brings feelings of excitement, joy and anticipation. And if my period starts, I have a day of sadness, but that is waaaay better than a whole month of it!

I choose hope.

(Now hopefully I’ll remember that next month!)

Ok enough of the depressing stuff. More for the fun stuff!

Hubster and I completed our first city-wide scavenger hunt. Super fun! We made top ten out of over 160 other teams and are pretty proud. We solved 12 clues to find 9 spots to take pics and complete 3 challenges. The route we plotted took us 6 miles and we completed the whole thing in under 2 hours. We had one bad spot of arguing when we got a little lost, but were much more supportive and encouraging the next time we got lost.

We were disappointed with our 2 boo-boo’s because we probably would have made top 3 is we didn’t have them, but ultimately we worked well as a team and had a lot of fun. It was great for our relationship and reminded me why I chose this man to spend my life with.

I strongly recommend looking into the Urban Dare near you!

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