Living in the Moment

Wow. What a crazy couple of weeks. I had a 3-day business trip last week I was excited about for a couple of reasons: 1. I would be super busy learning my job, so it was going to be a great distraction at the end of my 2ww, and 2. a nice break from everyday life and Hubster. But of course all that perfection totally didn’t pan out. Guess who stated their period 4 days early? This lady.

The day my long-awaited first ever overnight business trip began, so did Auntie Flo. Which meant I didn’t get to have one-day emotional breakdown with Hubster-only a mini one lasting about 30 seconds before I had to dry my eyes and reapply makeup. So being the veteran Infertile I am, I put my sadness aside to make small talk with my coworkers and the program I was visiting and learn my job. Oh and I ate WELL for the next 3 days. Then I came home, picked up my Clomid Rx and settled into another cycle.

And OMG what a roller coaster this cycle has been. I have started 3 different posts this week but my mood would change so rapidly I could never finish them. Since my posts are usually all over the place I really didn’t want to write a completely scattered post so I gave up. Until today.

I’m on CD13 and until about 2 days ago, my emotions have pinballed between high hopes, detachment, giving up, excitement about adoption and dreaming about living child-free. I have alternated between feeling extra loving towards Hubster and snapping at him. And I have no patience for a few good friends of mine.

So what happened in the last few days? Vacation. A short getaway to the Pacific Northwest with Hubster and has given me the reset my brain needed. It has been stressful being busy with in-law obligations and another short business trip the day after we return, but good lord I needed this trip. And so did our marriage. I can’t tell you how loud my heart sang when Hubster looked at me after happy hour today and proclaimed this to be our best vacation because he’s had so much fun.

Portland has been fantastic and we’ve crammed a lot in these 3 days. We’ve eaten at a hipster-y restaurant, attended a super chill brew fest, ate at one of the many food cart parks and…..wait for it…..

The World Naked Bike Ride!


Keep Portland weird!

Now we can say that we have lived.

And today I noticed that all of the excitement of this awesome new city has kept me from wondering what will happen with this cycle, what to do if it doesn’t work, how morning sickness and lethargy will feel like, when (and how) we’ll announce a pregnancy to family, and even adoption dreaming.

So this trip has not only been as fun as Hubster stated, but it has been thoroughly liberating, to say the least.

Now let’s hope the excitement of another business trip can continue this feeling. It’s to a super boring little town in Northern California so my hopes aren’t high, but I’m usually an irrational optimist, so maybe!


8 thoughts on “Living in the Moment

  1. Once my husband and I were driving home from a friends house and saw a guy riding his bike naked (it was like, 2am). Maybe he was training early? 🙂

  2. !!! It has been a LONG dream of mine to participate in a naked bike ride! I think next year will be the year, too. Did you ride? Or just spectate? (I’m catching up on your bloggie today. Prepare for a lot of comments…)

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