Thoughts Before Transfer

I’m sitting with ice on my ass waiting for Hubster to finish vacuuming (I declared this evening to be our few hours of crazy cleaning the condo we’re staying in so I don’t jump up and do all kinds of stress relieving cleaning when I get bored of sitting/laying around) so we can get another PIO shot out of the way. My right butt cheek/hip (really, my whole leg when I first woke up) are pretty sore so I’m hoping the left side will be better.

And I’m kind of finally absorbing everything today-even the water in the ocean, but that’s a story for later-which is still just a little too crazy to fully wrap my head around. I don’t know if it’s my freezing ass, but right now, it’s getting easier.

Hubster and I made 8 embryos. All 8 made it to Day 3. 1 divided a little late and is too fragmented to be able to count, but 7 have grown to Day 4. 2 have only made it to 5 cells and 2 are at 6 cells, but our 2 8-celled embies are almost to blast! We marvel at both science and the human body.

Over the past week and a half that Hubster has been here with me, we have worried together, dreamed together, freaked out together, encouraged each other and spent so much time laughing together. This has by far been the BEST (and longest) vacation we’ve been on together and I’m sad that it will end this weekend.

So when we go home at 4 or 5dp5dt, I imagine our lives to be changed. We’re a stronger couple than we’ve ever been and a good team. Yes, there are things about the other that still drive us nuts and sometimes I shake my head and wonder how I will care for a child when I have this man-child for a husband. But ultimately, I know that no one else in the world could be a better Co-parent than this guy. The guy who’s loading up the syringe with the PIO as I write.

So if we end up with our miracle after this, pure joy! And Parenthood will have many, many challenges but will not break us. And if I get my period in a couple of weeks, we will grieve like we’ve never grieved before. But it will not break us. We will have many amazing and beautiful memories of this trip and will be very well-rested so we can tackle the next cycle. 😉

(Queue cleaning break after the BEST shot Hubster has ever given me-I iced so well I didn’t feel the needle at all!)

But I’m not going to get ahead of myself. I’m now finally at peace with this process and not currently pissed off about all the shots, the money and the stress we’ve had to endure trying to make a baby. I’m again just grateful that we’ve had this opportunity we didn’t think we’d have. And that each step we take in our journey not only brings us closer to building our family, but also strengthens our relationship. For that, I am truly blessed.

And OMG you guys! Tomorrow our little embies will be safely tucked away in my womb. Please grow, our 2 stars! Even just a little bit. And I’m sending big loves and growing vibes to the other 4 slow pokes.

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14 thoughts on “Thoughts Before Transfer

  1. Thanks so much for sharing your journey. I have been and will continue to think of you and sending good thoughts and vibes your way. Oh little embabies get nice and comfy….grow little ones!!

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