*** WARNING: PREGNANCY TALK ***
Please feel free to skip of this will be a trigger for you.
Waiting for the first ultrasound has given me the most intense feelings I’ve ever experienced. Although I know things can go well at 6w4d and then terribly wrong at subsequent ultrasounds, I personally need to get this first 1 over with. It’s killllllling me to wait so long, but it’s almost here.
2 sleeps, people.
I feel good about it, in between the periods of terror I feel, of course. I feel more and more “pregnant” each day and the more miserable I feel, the more satisfied I am. Typical, infertile lol! I’ve been secretly writing bumpdates because I’ve wanted to chronicle every moment of this pregnancy, but have been afraid of jinxing it. Plus, 4 or 5 weeks pregnant doesn’t seem really pregnant, you know? Because if I lost this baby(ies), it could be considered a “late period,” maybe? I don’t know.
I’m constantly worried and freaking out and prefer not to talk about what is happening with my body. Especially as people in my Instagram feed lose babies at 7 or 8 weeks that tested chromosomally normal. So I’m hiding. But I’m doing better at reminding myself that today I am pregnant.
Today I am 6w2d.