I don’t want this to become a debate, but I just have to share (vent) about how fearful and angry I am at the anti-MMR vaccine movement. As you all know, being a parent is terrifying. Not only do you have to worry about keeping your child safe on the playground, but you have to worry about predators hurting them. NOW I have to worry about Anti-Vaxxers hurting my baby.
I always envisioned going to my friend’s Mommy FitClub with baby while on maternity leave, taking baby to music class at the library and starting swim lessons at 6 months old.
But all of that will not happen because my child won’t be immunized against the life-threatening measles infection until baby is 12 months old. I will be back at work by then so no Mommy FitClub for me, grandparents will take baby to music class at the library and swimming lessons will wait until AFTER summertime. Which means baby will be about 18 months old before taking a lesson and will only be able to go in my parents-in-law’s pool the first year of life.
We are a very active couple with a very active social life, but we will now be THOSE parents isolating their child the entire first year. That infuriates me. And I’m not being paranoid because I’m in California. The heart of the Anti-Vaxxers’ movement. Who knows how many children in my community have been exposed to measles and can spread it to my baby?
So yes, I’m ANGRY about this. I get that parents want to have the choice to make the decision they feel is best, but I don’t agree that they get to make this choice at mine and my child’s expense. It’s so much more selfish than they realize. IT’S NOT FAIR THAT I HAVE TO GRIEVE THE LOSS OF EVEN MORE HOPES AND DREAMS. Haven’t infertility and pregnancy loss already taken ENOUGH from me?
And like I said, there will be no debating because I have heard their argument for years. There’s no point and this is my blog.
Dog Mom Chasing the Stork 
I totally agree. Becoming a parent totally changes your perspective about something as simple as going to the grocery store. It’s terrifying that these people think it’s ok to make that uneducated choice for all the children around them.
Yes! Thanks for making me feel less crazy paranoid lol.
Definitely not paranoid, my daughter goes to daycare 5 days a week and 5 days a week I’m pretty much terrified until I hold her in my arms again.
Yeah that is something my husband reminded me about this evening. Now when I start touring centers (they all have yearlong waiting lists) I want to ask if ALL kids must be vaccinated before enrolling. But I don’t think they do that? So I guess I’ll just have to rely on their strict sick policy?!? Ugh!
Yeah some places don’t even require their staff to be fully vaccinated! I live in RI and up until a few months ago they did not require it I believe now daycare and school workers have to at least have certain up to date shots
OMG that’s terrible!
It really is. I can’t imagine being in the center of it all in Cali. All this because some bimbo ex model was convinced vaccines gave her kid autism.
Yep. And the stupid study that supported was thrown out long ago!
I don’t blame you, and I agree. I think people are taking things too far. It’s kinda sad the state in which this country is in these days.
Yeah, thankfully California lawmakers are trying to pass a bill that removes the “personal belief” exemption for the vaccination requirement in schools. I’m praying it passes!
We will also be those parents!
So not right.
No, it really isn’t right.
It makes me sad for you and the others in this boat.
yup, don’t even get me started. i’ve nearly asked parents, if they disagree with me on what i feel to be a major part of the care i provide, why they would want to see me. anyways, it’s possible to look up vaccination rates for child care centers in california: http://spreadsheets.latimes.com/look-vaccination-rates-california-child-care-cente/
Oh thank you! Yeah, I don’t know how you bite your tongue!
oh whoops, that link only shows measles vaccines. this one’s more comprehensive: http://www.shotsforschool.org/child-care/how-doing/
Well that worked for me lol! Both of the centers I’m most interested in have 100% vaccination rates. But let me check the other one too. 😉
Ok chicken pox, HIB & HepB are the only ones not 100% vaccinated against at my top 2, and the lowest is 96%. Phew. Thanks so much!
Those are great rates! Wish my top choices were that good
What are they?
they’re in southern california. thankfully there seem to be some viable options closer to my work – cheaper too 😛 won’t have to worry about it for at least another year anyways, my good friend will be babysitting for us!
Oh good! Yeah the 2 I’m leaning towards are within walking distance of my building. I wish I had someone to watch baby for the first year. My hubby wants to ask his parents, but there will be too much TV/video watching there for baby to be there 5 days a week.
We’re using the daycare on the Air Force base, and they make you vaccinate for everything so that’s a relief. But yeah-I totally get this. People suck.
Whew! So glad for that! And so a lot of the social things you would do are probably with those same families who must vaccinate, right? JEALOUS!
Not really-we don’t have a ton of military friends honestly. Most of the guys in Chiefs unit are either way older or way younger. But that would be nice!
Oh ok. Yeah, it would make things easier in some ways. I wish we lived closer. Then we could have our own little vaccinated IF playgroup!
OMG yes! Luckily I don’t think my state is as anti-vax as yours, but we still have our share of the crazies.
This post makes me really sad and is very one sided. My child is no more a threat to public health then anyone else’s. People who do not vaccinate at the recommended schedule love their children and want to protect them every way they can, just the same as those who fully vax. For me that meant not risking a vaccine injury which I am convinced he would have had given his risk factors. I love you dearly and would love to have an open conversation with you about vaccines if you’re open to it. I’ve spent an enormous amount of time researching the decisions we’ve made and would love to share any and all information I have. But please try not to be angry and blame, there are 2 sides to every debate and this one is easy to get heated about because its the health of our previous children. Nothing is more important in my mind. Xoxo
Oh sweetie. If your beautiful baby boy contracts measles, we don’t realize it and is around my under-vaccinated baby, my baby is getting it too. The complications that exist are terrifying to me. I have read all the same stuff you have. I have heard all the arguments against vaccinations and before getting pregnant I just shook my head, but didn’t think that much about it. Until I realized what that meant for my baby. And for me. There is no more debate or conversation for me. Seriously. Like I said, to take away MY choice is unfair and after all I have been through it’s unforgivable. So it actually hurts me that you’ve written this.
You haven’t read what I’ve read or you wouldn’t say these things. The MMR booster does not give life long immunity. When was the last time you, your hubby, your mom, sister, etc received their boosters? The adults in your community are a higher threat to your babe then my son. This is why herd immunity is flawed, our adult population is not protected. The recent disneyland outbreak contained more then 50% adults over 20. Also, the measles is not nearly as scary as its made out to be. Its a fever and a rash, then LIFELONG immunity instead of temporary. In third world countries where children are malnourished, have unlcean water and no access to good medical care its diffrrent. Obviously the younger they are the scarier it is, which is where breastmilk antibodies come in. I know this is a concern for you and I would donate my milk to your babe in a heartbeat if it were needed. There is just SO much more to this issue then black and white. And I don’t believe I should risk my child’s health (just as no mother would) for the potential of protecting another’s. Our one children come first, that’s what motherhood is about. We protect above all. And we can only do that the best we know how. Its even harder when other hate and bash on others for doing it the best they know how.
Yes, the younger they are the scarier. And no, I’m not going to rely on breast milk. Not for the measles or other infections children and adults should be vaccinated against. Boosters wouldn’t be necessary if everyone was getting vaccinated, but yes, my people are getting boosters. So no, they won’t be a danger to my child. If everyone were getting vaccinated, we wouldn’t have to worry about so many mutations to the strain of measles we were initially vaccinated against. And it kills me that I didn’t get my booster already.
I completely agree with you. These diseases were just about eradicated and now they are making a frightening come back. And they are deadly and those most at risk are the very young and old. All I need for proof that they work and are not harmful are the millions of adults who have no side effects and haven’t for generations. Anecdotal evidence does NOT equal causality.
Exactly. That also is what irks me. That there are now new strains and we have been put in more danger bc people thought they knew more that scientists and decided to stop vaccinating.
I am a sped teacher and this is so old I can’t believe people are still worried about this. Children in China who never had the mmr have autism. That’s the proof right there that vaccines do not cause autism. IMHO.
That’s pretty good proof! Yeah, it’s amazing what some people still believe.
Another thing is that this years measles outbreak was from the Philippines and a strand our current MMR does not include. So no one, vaccinated or not was protected. Vaccines give a false sense of security. The best protection in the first year before babes have a sufficient immune system is breast milk. Even if you supplement any amount of milk from mama protects from bugs in their environment since mama shares the environment with babe and constantly makes antibodies. Its an absolutely amazing thing that our milk can provide an immune system before they have developed their own.
In addition, Japan does have MMR but they don’t have the same strict recommendations (or possibly now mandates). They also happen to have the lowest infant mortality rates and autism rates in developed countries. Look it up! Japan has thought us a lot.
My baby had my breast milk and still got pneumonia – so no breastmilk doesn’t protect completely.
And I’m guessing she survived and now has immunity to that strain of pneumonia, good for her! Obviously there is nother we as mothers can do to completely protect our child towards the dangers of the outside world. We have to do everything we know hoe to do. Thank god for our awesome medical system that knows how to help sick babes get better! Too bad they can’t help vaccine injured children get better. I personally can live with a baby who gets pneumonia, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if my child developed a seizure disorder from a vaccine reaction. Both sides hold risks for long term affects. Every parent has to look at the pros and con’s, make a choice that THEY can live with. Parents are the ones to live with the consequences either way so they should be the ones with that choice, not our government.
Yes, but when your choices endanger other children, that’s not right. And when your choices take away my choices, that’s just plain wrong. With the increasing lack of vaccinations, more outbreaks will continue. Which means my poor child will be isolated. And so will I. It’s not fair. And after having to give up my plans bc of my body, the Universe, God’s will, etc. I refuse to condone this behavior. When parents make dangerous choices for society as a whole, the government damn sure needs to get involved.
And stork chaser I don’t understand your statement that boosters wouldn’t be neccesary if everyone was getting vaccinated. You do know that the MMR requires boosters right? Even with childhood boosters all on schedule the longest immunity a vaccine can provide is 10 years. For many its not even that long. So yes, boosters are required. Most adults don’t get boosters so to blame unvaccinated children is crazy when all the adults in a child’s life are a much bigger “threat”. Not to mention outbreaks happen in fully vaccinated populations, just happened in Salinas. They don’t always work! This is not a perfect cure all like we wish it was.
I no longer even bother with the anti-vaxxers. They are ignorant and dangerous and that is as polite as I am able to be. It is a very selfish and uneducated choice – their theories have all been well debunked. The ones STILL hanging on are just beyond comprehension. I would not permit my child around any child not vaccinated. And before I get the “if you’d read what I have” – prior to my current career I was an immunologist pursuing my PhD at the third best ranked pediatric hospital on the continent. Whatever you think you know, you’re wrong. Period, end of story.
Very well-said. Not bothering anymore. I’m actually taking care of my grandma today because she’s not doing well. I don’t have the energy for anything else.
Amen sister. First, there will always be side effects associated with anything one is treated with. Second, in relation to vaccines, those few side effects far, FAR are out weighed by the potential risks of no vaccines. It baffles me that people even are anti vaccine. I love this reply!!
I wonder if there is a way to find out what the measles infection is like jn your area so you kind of get an idea of what people’s vaccination choices are, then make your decision about the mommy and mes. My area has a high vaccination rate / low measles rate so I am not as concerned. But before the babies were born I made everyone in our families update their whooping cough and get flu shots before they were allowed in the house.
I have no idea. I think just talking to people? I know a few mom’s who are in different mommy groups in my area so I guess I can see about that. The exciting news is that my 2 top daycares have 96+% IZ rates. I started Googling it, but haven’t found much.
The anti vaccine thing pisses me off too! We got rid of this damn disease once and now because of these people, it’s back. grrr!
I am that parent and while I do agree with some of the points raised by them, I live in a country where to,measles,malaria etc are all very much around and active and knowing that some people choose to let their kids take their chances just freaks me out. I feel for the children who physically can’t have a vaccine due to illness or disability. Herd mentality? People, you just created a new herd of kids carrying potential diseases that took decades to tame.
Amen sister! There was a measles outbreak near Chicago in a sister daycare to my daughter’s daycare. Thankfully Izzy got her shots at her 12 mo visit so I felt a bit better but it was still scary!
Ugh I can’t imagine how scary that must have been!
Your post tugs at my heart. My daughter was born in September, and we had a measles scare 45 minutes south of us when she was three months old. I wanted to share that there is an MMR vaccination that can be provided at 6 months, though it does not provide extended protection (i.e. you still have to provide vaccines on the recommended schedule as well). I don’t know if that would provide you with enough peace of mind to engage in public activities, but I wanted to share.
Yes, we’ll be getting this for my babe, but it doesn’t do much for my nerves as babies aren’t fully vaccinated until 12 mos. It IS something though, you’re right about that.