My OB is leaving me

Ok, one of my worst fears is happening and even though I know everything will be fine, I’m really distraught.

I’ve not had the best luck with doctors since the one who diagnosed me with endo 10+ years ago. I found most don’t give you all the info about all your options, are annoyed when you do your own research, and have lacking bedside manners. So I’ve felt SO lucky to have a primary care physician AND gyno-turned-OB who are none of those. They respect me enough to let me choose the best course, but are competent and thorough so I often feel comfortable deferring to their opinions, and are so great at the bedside manner-thing that I’d love to be their friend! (Not exaggerating)

This was especially important for my gyno as I had just left my fertility clinic and at didn’t know where to go or what to do next. He made me feel comfortable immediately and even though he didn’t specialize in infertility, he completely understood the emotional aspects of it. That was huge for me!

And when we were fortunate enough to get pregnant, he agreed to follow the early pregnancy closely, acknowledging we were at a precarious place, and then once we passed the first trimester he again acknowledged what a huge feat that was. Talk about TLC at it’s finest! He has been a positive and supporting physician for the last 2 years and I’ve looked forward to the day that he got to meet our miracle (whether as the delivering physician or popping in to check on us, as is his practice of he doesn’t deliver) and now that won’t happen. He’s leaving my medical group in July.

The other thing that I’m dealing with is increased fear. I have felt better recently because he is so confident in this pregnancy. And I’m so confident in him. I trust him explicitly so knowing that if anything comes up, he’ll be straightforward and do all he can to help. Also, I trusted him to get me through labor and delivery. Yes, it’s likely he wouldn’t actually be there for the delivery, but even discussing our birth plan and options with him was something I really looked forward to. I have always trusted that he has mine and this baby’s best interest at heart.

Now I have to find a new doctor to replace him. How do I do that?

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13 thoughts on “My OB is leaving me

  1. Can you follow him, or is he moving out of your area? He may not have announced which group he’s moving to yet, but maybe you could stalk him and move your care over. If this isn’t an option, I’m sorry. I know how important it is to find someone you genuinely live and trust wholeheartedly.

    • There’s only one other medical group in the area I would want to deliver at so I’m praying he’s going there and my husband’s new job gives us the opportunity to change health plans (we both work for the state and open enrollment is in the fall). But I have a feeling he’s leaving the area since he’s from a different part of the state. Ugh. It just sucks going back to square 1.

      • I’m sorry, I would totally freak out about that. I hope your pregnancy is going smoothly! I’m a little behind on blogs, and I’ve been meaning to post an update for ages, but have been super busy and scatter-brained. My pregnancy has significantly improved since we figured out the nausea/vomiting issue and I’m able to keep hydrated now. New symptons have appeared, but nothing is worse than living in projectile vomit-land for 10 weeks! 😉

  2. I was going to suggest following him to his new practice too if he’s staying in the area. If that’s not an option, I suggest finding a few OBs to interview (maybe by word-of-mouth or a google search if there are no other options) and then seeing if they would be willing to meet with you to answer your questions. (If not, they’re not the right one to begin with.) And then ask everything you can think of and see how they respond — if you’re comfortable with their answers and if they treat you with the respect and compassion you deserve. And then choose one to test drive. If at any point you decide they’re not the right one for you, don’t be afraid to move on! I KNOW it’s stressful to be doctor-hopping while pregnant (I’ve done it myself), but you deserve the best care possible and it’s soooooo important to find an OB who respects and strives for the same things you want in the delivery room. Wishing you lots of luck in this! And lots of love!

  3. I’m so sorry. That is really rough. A good fit with your prenatal provider is so huge. It’s important to go into your birth with full trust in your provider and no fear. 😦 I hope you’re able to find another like him ASAP!

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