I am not in control at all. Whatsoever.
Of my body.
Or even my mind.
When I start seeing chub, I can’t adjust my eating/exercise routine to fix it.
When I’m feeling extra tired at work, I can’t sleep extra and feel refreshed the next morning.
I may want to eat a beautifully giant meal, but I won’t be able to finish it.
I may want to take the 3 flights of stairs several times a day at work like I used to, but I can’t.
I may want a pickle when I’m home alone, but I’m no longer able to open the jar.
All of that is ok. I just let it all go. Sometimes after a big cry lol, but really, I am loving being pregnant.
Except that I want to continue focusing on my career climbing, but I’m pretty sure I just bombed my interview for a promotion today.
I prepared, but my brain was such a fog, that I don’t even really remember any of the questions. Although I remember the things I didn’t say. The things that I knew would clinch it for me. I am literally the best choice for this position as I not only have the experience no one else has, but I have all the skills necessary. Oh did I mention that I’m basically creating the scope of work to be done?
I’m sad because I really wanted this job and while it would require the same amount of travel my job requires now initially, after a few months it would decrease drastically. Which means I’m guaranteed more time at home with my family. And I would be managing the team and making the decisions, not asking for direction.
So now I’m unsure of what to do next. Do I use the end of my maternity leave to start the awful process of applying for a new job? Do I stay and pray another opportunity opens up where I’m at? I don’t know. I really thought I had this in the bag and my career and this new life-altering change (baby) would work out perfectly.
I’m not going to worry about it right now though. We’re leaving on a short Babymoon this evening and I’m going to focus on relaxing and spending quality time with Hubster. When I come back, I can obsess about what to do about my career.
For now I’ll leave you with my preggo-interview pic. This just looks ridiculous lol!