Pregnancy is the most humbling time of my life

I am not in control at all. Whatsoever.

Of my body.

Or even my mind.

When I start seeing chub, I can’t adjust my eating/exercise routine to fix it.

When I’m feeling extra tired at work, I can’t sleep extra and feel refreshed the next morning.

I may want to eat a beautifully giant meal, but I won’t be able to finish it.

I may want to take the 3 flights of stairs several times a day at work like I used to, but I can’t.

I may want a pickle when I’m home alone, but I’m no longer able to open the jar.

All of that is ok. I just let it all go. Sometimes after a big cry lol, but really, I am loving being pregnant.

Except that I want to continue focusing on my career climbing, but I’m pretty sure I just bombed my interview for a promotion today.

I prepared, but my brain was such a fog, that I don’t even really remember any of the questions. Although I remember the things I didn’t say. The things that I knew would clinch it for me. I am literally the best choice for this position as I not only have the experience no one else has, but I have all the skills necessary. Oh did I mention that I’m basically creating the scope of work to be done?

Sigh.

I’m sad because I really wanted this job and while it would require the same amount of travel my job requires now initially, after a few months it would decrease drastically. Which means I’m guaranteed more time at home with my family. And I would be managing the team and making the decisions, not asking for direction.

So now I’m unsure of what to do next. Do I use the end of my maternity leave to start the awful process of applying for a new job? Do I stay and pray another opportunity opens up where I’m at? I don’t know. I really thought I had this in the bag and my career and this new life-altering change (baby) would work out perfectly.

I’m not going to worry about it right now though. We’re leaving on a short Babymoon this evening and I’m going to focus on relaxing and spending quality time with Hubster. When I come back, I can obsess about what to do about my career.
For now I’ll leave you with my preggo-interview pic. This just looks ridiculous lol!

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12 thoughts on “Pregnancy is the most humbling time of my life

  1. I hope you’re wrong about how you think you did! If you don’t remember half of it, maybe you did really well lol. And you don’t look ridiculous, I think you look cute. Have a great trip, and try to stay positive!

  2. You look beautiful!!!

    And you never know, you may have done better than you think. Were you interviewing with someone you know?

    In any case good luck!!! And enjoy your baby moon 🙂

      • Scoring? But they should know the things you said you forgot (that you’re creating the scope of the work for example). They’re not strangers to you or your work!

      • Yes, but I’m a State worker. To be fair, interview questions have required responses and are assigned points. It’s nice when you’re changing to a different agency lol, not when you’re interviewing with your bosses and forget stuff. 😞

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