*** WARNING: PREGNANCY TALK *** Please feel free to skip of this will be a trigger for you. Waiting for the first ultrasound has given me the most intense feelings I’ve ever experienced. Although I know things can go well at 6w4d and then terribly wrong at subsequent ultrasounds, I personally need to get this […]

Needing support

I was doing REALLY well off and on for about 4 days. I felt comfortable with this “pregnancy” (see, I’m back to not being able to use the word!) and shared the news with our families. Since it’s Chinese New Year and both of our families have been celebrating, everyone has asked the normal questions […]


I imagine that’s what I’ll feel as long as I’m pregnant. I was shocked to see a faint second line at 4dp5dt. In fact, my dear friend was the one to tell me it was there lol. I was shocked that it continued to darken everyday. I was shocked when I received my first-ever BFP […]

We’ve doubled again!

Holy cow, you guys. I’m so shocked and humbled to feel truly pregnant right now. Beta #3 at 14dp5dt is 1368.9 Doubling time from 10dp5dt is 39 hours. I’m at work and VERY busy right now, but will be posting my thoughts this evening.

Doubling has occurred!

Beta #1 = 82.5 Beta #2 = 249.1 Doubling time of 30.11 hours! This is all I have for now. It has been a long week and I need a nap before my parents come over to see my sister who should arrive from SD very shortly. (Long story short, family is here for my […]

When will *waiting* get easier?

How, as a longtime Infertile, have I not learned patience? I was hoping that indulging in my POAS addiction would help in the waiting for the results of my 2nd beta, but while seeing that darkening line gave me a small thrill, I simply can.not.do.my.work (inside joke with Hubster) this morning! I can’t. And even […]

I’m a POAS addict and I do NOT want help

Funny story: I work for our state’s Drug Medi-Cal program. My living is earned by traveling the state to monitor the rehab facilities billing this program. So the treatment of substance use disorders is very important to my tight-knit group of coworkers. Also, a few know of my recent IVF cycle and subsequent POAS addiction. […]

Well, huh.

Guess I’ll be asking my doctor for an earlier beta than 10dp5dt! Weird. I have never gotten this single word on a digital before. And I never expected to so I never bought the ones with the weeks. *kicking myself now

Rainbows for our rainbows?

This was what greeted us when Hubster and I left the house this evening. Made us both smile. Yes, I tested today. Twice. About the same, if not a teeny bit darker than yesterday’s. But I will try to hold off testing again until Wednesday. I feel like that’s a good compromise, even if it […]